Holy crap! I'm pregnant!
by DevinKye00
Summary: Amelda finally wins his tenth duel in a row. A goal he has long time dreamed of. After some celebrating in the bar he feels strange and somehow ends up pregnant!
1. Chapter one: Another victory

**Note: This fanfiction contains Yaoi, which means male and male relationships. If you do not wish to read about this sort of stuff then I highly suggest that you choose another fanfiction to read. If you DO like yaoi, then please go ahead and read my fic.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Or any of its characters. I also do not own the plot! The plot all rights to Amazon-healer and NOT me! (Amazon healer is no long with note: Hey everybody, long time no see I have finally decided to update my fanfiction that everybody seems to like! Thank you all who reviewed and loved my story. I have decided to rewrite my fanfiction just for you guys! I hope everyone likes it!**

**Holy Crap I'm pregnant!**

**Chapter one: The truth about Alister and Valon**

Amelda gave an eyeful gaze at the selection of cards he held tightly in his hand, All of them being the famous machine monsters he was known for. His opponent, one random kid looking to pick a fight, trying to act as if he was cool. Alister hated those types of people and often put them back in their place after the duel.

Wanting to get this pointless duel over with, he gazed at his opponents selection of monsters on his side of the field. Smirking, he pulled a card from his hand and smacked it down on his dueldisc.

"Cyber Dragon! Let's show this loser the power and strength of the machines!" Alister yelled, as a long shiny dragon appeared on the field. "But wait! There's more, I activate my raigeki to destroy every one of your pathetic monsters!" Alister said placing down another card on his dueldisc. Abruptly, the clouds above them grew dark and sudden lightning strikes made the boy jump every time they hit. Before the boy knew it, his monsters have all gone to the graveyard and he was left alone, standing with nothing to protect him.

"What in the hell? This can't be happening!" Screamed the boy pulling on his long brown hair.

"Well it just did, so get over yourself! Cyber Dragon, attack with cyber blast!" Alister said pointing directly to the boy. The boy attempted to block but without luck, his life points dropped to zero and the duel was over.

"Shit!" Screamed the boy. Excepting defeat, he ran down the street and soon out of sight. Alister scoffed and turned around to find that Raphael and Valon had both been watching.

"How long have you been standing there?" Asked Alister, giving a slight smile towards them.

"We've been here for the whole duel mate, Raphael and I just exited the arcade when we saw you screamin' at that kid." Valon was cut off.

"So we decided to watch." Raphael finished. Alister blushed as Valon smiled at him. There was something that Raphael didn't know, and he intended to keep it that way, at least for a little while.

"Wow, I am totally oblivious!" Valon and Raphael laughed getting back onto their bikes. "So, who's up for Pizza?" Amelda asked strapping his red helmet tightly on is head.

"Count me in!" Valon screamed throwing his arm into the air.

"Count me in as well." Raphael said calmly smiling. Amelda nodded, squeezing the handles of his bike, jolting him forward.

---

When the trio arrived at Domino Pizzeria, no one was in there except for an elderly couple sitting in the corner. They took a seat at the opposite end and glanced at the menu's.

"How about plain old cheese?" Amelda suggested. Valon raised an eyebrow.

"Cheese? Why not pepperoni?" Valon asked looking at the two.

"Hmm...why not Mushrooms?" Raphael suggested trying to top the other two's choices. An argument brewed but was soon interupted by a beautiful waitress.

"Ya know we can divide the pizza into three!" She rudely interrupted glaring at them. Raphael sat up straight and told her what they agreed on. She nodded then went back into the kitchen. Amelda stood up and walked out from the table.

"I'll be right back, I need to wash my hands." Amelda said excusing himself from the group.

"Hey Alister, wait up I need to wash me hands too!" Valon said running after him. Raphael rolled his eyes and waited silently for the food.

When Valon entered the bathroom, Amelda silently washed his hands in the corner. Valon rushed towards him pinning the unexpecting Amelda to the back wall, his hands in Valons grasp.

"Valon! Not here, are you nuts?" Amelda said trying to break free of Valons tight grasp.

"No mate, just madly in love!" He said slipping Amelda a long kiss on the lips. Amelda closed his eyes and enjoyed the gift Valon was giving him. Soon, the door opened, suddenly forcing Valon to let go. A man with a suit walked in and quitly, yet suspiciously walked into one of the stalls. Raising an eyebrow, Amelda followed by Valon walked out of the bathroom to find Raphael stuffing his face with the delicious doughy goodness.

"Hey! Why dontcha save some for us, Raphael?" Valon shouted taking the first slice of Pizza he could get his hands on. Amelda sat down and took the next piece. After each slice was gone, the threesome left Domino Pizzeria, feeling bloated. It was nearly seven o'clock and it was starting to get dark, a sign to head back to paradias.

"Think we should get back?" Raphael said stretching his arms out in the air.

"Nah, why dont you go ahead. I wanna stay out a bit longer, I'm sure Dartz wont mind." Amelda said. Valon walked up beside Amelda.

"I wanna stay with Amelda, I really need to talk to him about something." His voice had a great tone of concern. Raphael nodded and rode off into the distance. Valon quickly turned around, meeting his lips with Amelda's. Amelda gratefully kissed him back, enjoying it.

"What a fool! He actually thought I was concerned about something!" Valon said kissing Amelda soft lips again. Amelda smiled, never has he been this happy with any girl. Amelda winced as a sharp pain went through his stomach. He collapsed to the ground, rolling up in a ball.

"Amelda? What wrong mate, tell me whats wrong!" Valon said kneeling down picking up Amelda's head. He soon closed his eyes, his world turned dark. A stream of tears fell from Valons face onto Amelda's. "Amelda, please wake up..." Valon said burrring his face into Amelda's chest.

Ending note: Its better than the first draft ne? Pay no mind to the currently uploaded chapter 2, it doesn't match with the new plot I came up with so just ignore it until I replace it. I hope you all like it


	2. Chapter two: The cravings begin

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Or any of its characters. All belongs to Kazuki Takahashi.**

**Authors note: Second chapter is up, a little more exiting. Also I decided to change the first chapter a little bit so yeah please make sure to re-read that. I realized a made a bunch of mistakes. Anyway please R&R and thanks for reading. OH WAIT! This plot goes to Amazon-healer for her original story. Thanks.**

**Chapter 2: The cravings begin**

_2 months later…_

The next morning, the doom organization met at the temple, Dartz had summoned them to a very important "Top secret information meeting".

"The power of the Orichalchos will resurrect the mighty leviathan in exactly two days! With the new power I discovered from the sacred stone, the process will become much quicker. So, All I ask of the three of you is to find the purified water from Atlantis and the stone will become even darker!" Dartz laughed.

Alister swung in his chair looking rather unamused. In his left hand, a bag of chips rested there, half empty. "Can we go yet? I have to pee Niagara falls if you don't mind!" Alister shouted holding his crotch. Dartz flinched and waved his hand.

"Don't flood my kingdom!" Warned Dartz. Alister got up and sprinted towards the bathroom. Valon raised an eyebrow and began re-reading the papers that were in front of him. Raphael crossed his arms and patiently waited for Alister to return. When he finally did return he plumped himself down on the leather chair and began munching on more chips.

"Now my peasants, find me that water!" Dartz ordered leaving the meeting room. Raphael shrugged and left, going out to where they kept their motorcycles. Valon and Alister followed and carefully strapped their helmets on. The three of them climbed on to their motorcycles and sped off into the distance.

"So where did that old bloke tell us that stupid water was?" Valon asked squinting his eyes against the sunlight. Alister was still munching on his chips while attempting to steer at the same time.

"I don't think he told us… just told us to find it." Raphael said.

"Damnit! Can't that old fart do ANYTHING himself?" Alister yelled throwing more chips into his mouth. Valon simply laughed.

"Dartz is our master, which means we do everything he wants, sorry to tell ya, mate!" Valon said. Raphael and Valon both looked back when a loud crash could be heard. "Shit! Alister!" Valon screamed turning a 180 degree angle, he let his bike crash to the ground and sprinted towards his fallen comrade.

"Raph! He's bleeding from his head! Call the police right now!" He ordered. Valon lifted Alister's head and waited for the ambulance to arrive.

- - -

Later at the domino city hospital, Alister was lying on the bed with a warm rag across his forehead. Raphael was looking out the window and Valon was next to him sitting in a chair next to the unconscious red haired boy. Alister moaned in pain as the nurse poked his fragile skin with a needle.

"We have run a couple tests and have figured out that he only has a mild concussion, but we need to run more tests. So I am sorry but you'll need to leave. There is a cafeteria directly above us." The nurse said jotting something down on her clipboard. Raphael and Valon both nodded and walked out the door.

"Hope the old chum is okay." Valon sighed.

"Me too… we can only hope." Raph said heading up the stairs to the cafeteria.

The cafeteria was packed with bunches of middle aged duelists all dueling each other. "What the hell are duelists doing in a cafeteria, at a hospital!" Raph raised an eyebrow. Valon shrugged. Suddenly, 2 brunette haired girls ran over to the two of them

"Sorry to bother you, but aren't you Valon and Raphael from Paradias?" She asked. Valon raised an eyebrow, suddenly interested in their convo.

"Why yes we are, may we help you?" Valon said in a nice tone of voice, nicer then his normal tone.

"Ha! I knew it! I challenge both of you to a duel you overdressed fags!" The girl launched a battle city duel disc.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" Valon blinked in amazement. "That's it, you in for a real barrel of whoop-ass!" Valon screamed launching his chaos duel disc. Raphael narrowed his eyes.

"Lets go! No one calls me a gay person!" He also launched his duel disc. The duel commenced and soon a whole crowd surrounded them as if in a fist fight. "I guess I'll make the first move, I play my guardian Fauna!" (I made that card up cause I don't know any good guardian cards he can summon on the first turn) Raphael screamed slamming a card down on his duel disc.

A young women appeared holding a staff with a beautiful flower at the top. "Nice Raph! Now, for my first move I will lay down 2 cards face down and psychic armor in attack mode!" Finished Valon.

The two teenagers drew there cards. "I play big shield guardna level 2!" The first brunette said placing a card on her duel disc. A monster with nearly 4500 defense points appeared on the field. "Deal with that!"

"Now its my turn!" Said the other brunette. "I play Kika wind ninja! in attack mode." She said also placing a card on her duel disc. Raphael laughed and drew another card.

"If that's the best you got your gonna lose! I play guardian ritual allowing me to summon any guardian monster from my hand or deck. I choose, Guardian Iatos!" Raph yelled as a mystic eagle God descended from the heavens. "But that's not all! I also play guardian mirror!"

"What the hell does that do?" Asked the two girls in unison

"You'll find out soon enough, Valon, be my guest." Raph said stepping back a little.

"My pleasure, mate! I play one of my face down cards, gravitation. This transfers the attack points of all of Raphael monsters to my armor. Making his strength nearly 5000! Now I activate my other face down card, behind enemy lines, allowing me to attack your life points directly instead of your monster. Now that that is settled, Pshyhcic armor, attack with dark shadows!" Valon said as the monster in front of him leaped into action. The monster attacked the first girls life points directly causing her life points to drop to zero.

"And now to finish what Valon started. I use the special ability of my guardian mirror to transfer the damage you little friend received to your life points! Game over!" Raph said. The holograms disappeared and the duel discs retracted.

"Damn, you pretty good for gay people." They said. Valon retorted and walked towards the exit to see the nurse was waiting.

"That was an awesome duel you had going, nice skills. Anyway, we have completed the tests and your friend is fully awake now." She smiled.

"May we see him?"

"Of course." She said leading them back to Alister's room. Inside Alister sat up reading a magazine. He looked up when the door opened.

"Hey guys, Just wanted to thank you for bringing me here. I would have dies if you hadn't brought me" Alister smiled. Valon nodded.

"Anytime mate." Valon said. Raph nodded as well. The nurse walked into the room again and motioned for the two to sit down.

"Now that I have everyone in here I have to tell you exiting, weird, yet funny news. It may surprise you so much we have brought shots to calm you down."

"Just say it please!" Alister said.

She turned to Alister and tried to keep a straight face. "Alister, your pregnant." She said. Alister's eyes grew wide as did everyone else's. Soon Valon was laughing hard, almost maniacally.

"Valon! That's not fun- wait YES IT IS! HAHAHAHA" Raphael joined. Alister was still staring at the nurse. The nurse couldn't help but laugh.

"Anyway, the interesting part is that you are half girl half man, and you have a uterus." She said very seriously. Alister took a deep breath. He motioned for the nurse to come closer.

"How the hell is it going to fit through… that?" He whispered pointing to his crotch. The nurse began to smile again. "Oh God, please tell me that baby is not coming out of my ass!" He said in a rush. The nurse began to laugh.

"If you would check," She cleared her throat "Down there, you would have realized you have both reproductive systems." Alister jumped back surprised. He immediately pulled the covers over his body and looked.

"WHAT THE FUCK? HOW THE HELL?" Alister screamed. His comments made Valon and Raphael laugh even harder. "But Mrs. Nurse lady, I didn't even screw anybody!" Alister explained.

"Well, we did some research and found out that, Valon. You're the father." The nurse concluded. The room was dead silent.

**Authors note: Well? Its way better and much funnier than the first chapter. My favorite part was with the duel part. That was pretty cool, even thought the cards were made up . . Anyway, please review and no flames. Comments would be appreciated.**


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